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Stories
Here are some amazing stories from courageous survivors
- Brenda (not her real name), was fleeing a rural town outside of Colorado Springs, where her husband had not only been verbally, emotionally and physically abusing her, but had destroyed all of her identification information such as birth certificate and social security card. He also destroyed her walking cane that she needed because of a disability, and he took her medications. With brain injuries and a broken ankle, she fled her apartment and called the police for help. They connected her to TESSA where she found safe housing, and advocate to connect her to medical and other resources and she is building a safer life.
- Rebecca (not her real name), 34, came to TESSA confused about what to do. With a toddler and another baby on the way, she was coming to realize that her controlling and manipulative husband was not willing to change his abusive behaviors. Not quite ready to leave, she talked to an advocate who helped her develop a safety plan and explore her other options. After one particularly violent night, Rebecca left her house with her child and entered the TESSA safehouse. Using the knowledge she gained from her visit with the advocate, she knew exactly where to call and what to do when the time came. During her safehouse stay, she attended groups and individual counseling, and began building her life. With the help of a local church program working with TESSA to provide transitional housing funds, Rebecca was able to get her first month’s rent and security deposit paid for, and she and her son moved into their own place.
- My name is Tina and I am 14 years old. My sister is 17 and my brother is 11. I am a good student and have been a starting player on the volleyball team for three years. One day last spring my father came home and got mad that dinner wasn’t ready. He had been drinking a lot and he pulled out a knife and said he was going to kill me. He cut me a little and my sister called the police and my dad has been in jail since then. It has been hard. My mom isn’t home much because she has to work and she goes to see my dad at the jail a lot. I think she is mad at me and my sister for telling and getting him in trouble. My sister has dropped out of school and says she’s going to live with her boyfriend when she turns 18. I hardly ever know where my brother is, but he is hanging out with some bad people. I like having a CASA volunteer. She listens to me. She talked to the school counselor and helped me arrange my schedule so I can still play volleyball. She found a camp for my brother to go to this summer so he won’t be home alone. She talked my sister into getting her GED. Even though my mom wants my dad to come home, my CASA told me that it’s okay if I’m not ready to see him and she told the judge that I’m still afraid.
- My name is Michael. I was born after a week-long relationship between my mother and my father. I suffered physical abuse at the hands of my mother and when I became too difficult to handle, she sent me out of state to live with my father, who I had never met. When my CASA got involved, I was out of control- running away, angry, defiant, had several juvenile delinquency charges. My relationship with my father had deteriorated to a miserable state. Dad was self-absorbed with his own issues and was always punishing me. My CASA volunteer told the judge that I was being abused, bringing his observations and more information to the court’s attention. My CASA helped everyone involved to see that I was a product of my environment and not just a teen who was acting out. My CASA found a relative, my uncle Marty, who was willing to take me in. Now I have a stable person in my life and I’m not as angry. It feels good to have control of my life again.
- My name is Travis and I’m nine years old. I have a disorder they call failure-to-thrive. My brother Jimmy and I were placed in foster care because we were neglected by our parents. Soon after we moved in with our foster family, an older boy, Mike, sexually abused me. I didn’t know what to do and was afraid to talk about it. That was when my CASA volunteer came to see me. She talked to everybody and found out what Mike had done to me. Then she talked to the judge and found a therapist who helped me feel better. My CASA also went to the doctor with me and discovered the medication I was taking for my disorder was not allowing me to gain weight. At age nine I only weighed 40 pounds. Now I’m gaining weight and I am up for adoption. My CASA visits me often and is working to help me get into a safe, permanent home.
- My name is Faith and I am five. When I was four, I lived in a dark place with my mommy and daddy. I couldn’t talk because I had what the doctors call a short frenulum. Since I’ve been with my new mommy and daddy, I’ve been to the hospital to have that fixed so I can smile right and talk right. My CASA lady talks to me about things I want the judge to know. Since I’ve been with my new mommy and daddy, I've also learned how to go potty and to drink out of a cup and lots of neat things. I can draw real pretty pictures, too. For a long time I used to have to go visit my old daddy and it scared me. But my CASA lady used to be with me at the visits so I knew I’d be safe and that I could go home after the visits. But now I don’t have to see him anymore. I am going to start kindergarten next year!
- My name is Ariana and I’m 13. My sisters are 15, seven and four and my brother is nine. We are all in foster care but it’s alright because we’re together. A lady came and took us away from our mom because my step-dad was messing with me and my older sister. My mom didn’t believe us and my step-dad made us look like we were lying. Me and my mom have not gotten along since then. But my CASA is cool. He knows we’re not lying. And no matter how I feel, he keeps coming to the foster home and school to check on us. He talks to everyone about my case, and even arranged for me and my brother and sisters to be adopted by our foster mom. My CASA helped us be a family.
- Christina (not her real name), is a legally documented immigrant from Guatemala who came to TESSA seeking help after months of abuse from her boyfriend. She had come to America to find work and support her family back home using the U.S. guest worker program. After they started dating, her boyfriend soon began physically, sexually and emotionally abusing Christina. His size and strength made her frightened for her life, and without friends or family in the U.S. she felt there was nowhere to turn. The intimidation and isolation was made even worse when her abuser took away Christina’s legal U.S. presence documents and threatened to call immigration services on her, telling her she’d end up in a U.S. prison and nobody would ever find her.
Her abuser made her quit her job at a large resort hotel in Colorado Springs and instead go to work for his friend at a strip club. He took all of the cash Christina made from the club, and he sexually assaulted and beat her regularly. After three months at the club, one of the other women mentioned TESSA to Christina, and she came in to speak to one of our bilingual advocates.
At TESSA, Christina received critical help that likely saved her life. She was assured support, offered crisis shelter at our safehouse, and offered help with obtaining copies of her legal immigration status documentation. Feeling much more secure, Christina chose to leave her abuser and move into the TESSA safehouse while she contacted her family in Guatemala and arranged to go back home.
- Jenny (not her real name), came into the TESSA safehouse with her three children. They are all under the age of 12, including eight year-old Ellen who is in a wheelchair from a birth defect that affected the strength and structure of her legs. Jenny has been to TESSA three times before in attempts to leave her husband. Most domestic violence victims do attempt to leave their abusers, despite the fact that the most dangerous time for a victim is right after leaving because the violence often escalates. When Jenny went back to her abuser the last time, it was because her daughter needed surgery, and their health insurance was with her husband’s workplace. This time is different, says Jenny, because she connected with another survivor of abuse that had been using TESSA services, and they have pooled their resources to find an apartment as well as cover day care needs.
- Tanya (not her real name), is a fifteen year-old girl who joined our teen DoVE groups after meeting a TESSA outreach advocate. At DoVE, Tanya found the space she so desperately needed to feel heard and understood:
“I enjoy having somewhere I can go and be around kids my own age who have experiences like mine,” says Tanya. “I can’t tell my friends at school things like ‘I have seen my dad hit my mom.’ But the other kids at DoVE group understand because they’ve seen the same thing happen in their house. I used to blame my mom for getting hit, wondering what she did to make my dad mad. Now I understand it was not her fault.”
Children who grow up witnessing domestic violence are much more likely to be abusers or to be abused as adults. TESSA is working with hundreds of teens like Tanya. Please check out TESSA's new website – www.tessacs.org – and click on the special youth link or the section on how parents can talk to their kids about dating violence.
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